jitters

Well, i really don't know how to start this, it's just that i had to let it out.

Everytime i listen to the words of my friends, to their lamentations and longings, I feel as if they were part my own. Of course, because I am also like them, and though we may never feel the same, it is that simple fact that we are, as nature dictated, the same. We do feel.

On that note, I feel their sense of loss, though maybe not to their degree, or not in the perspective of their understanding of what truly transpired as they narrate me their stories . . . still, it had become quite apparent that a face of life had dealt them a cruel shove. Several times they tried to bounce, in more ways than one, trying to hide the failures (as I do), only to fall time and time again. It is as if life is telling them what they've been through is not yet enough to have the right to leap through to another chapter of their lives. That they have yet to meet that "Mr.Right/Ms. Right" (whoever the fuck he/she is. . . sorry for the tone) , or find the right occupation or obsession (in some cases), and until such a time that they will wake up and realize whoever or whatever that is, they'll have to scour and struggle through a huge sinking hole in which they need to rise only to be dragged down due to the lack of "compatability".

And within these little conversations, there are underlying tones, tones of sorrow, simple lies / denials that i myself am willing to accept as part of their character (for I also do the same). If these little errors in their ways are the only foundation that keep them glued to the ground, then let them hold on to it. If it is an illusion, let him fall for it. Let them abuse it until such a time that they'll be looking into what they'd be deeming as real. After all, reality is nothing more than a perception of what had been felt and observed -- as what most people would claim.

Perhaps, all of this is just another BS, and perhaps I am just too depressed to write anything I'd be laughing at later. I just thought of all those people around me, the things they said, they did. . . and i am happy that they faced life the way they did. They reminded me that I'm still not brave enough to face my own fears. that they had gone through there while i still have yet to slide down deep. But ironically, listening to them made it even harder for me to move. I have heard the risk, I had felt the pain (though, as I said, in my own way),and it gave me chills.